The classic trench - are you kidding me?

Why is that every fashion guru - from Tim Gunn to Isaac Mizrahi (and I do love both those gentlemen to bits) always say, "Ladies, your wardrobe needs a classic trench!" ?

Now firstly, there's the very obvious point that if we all put on our classic trenches we would look like something out of Children of the Corn or a sci-fi plot set in the not-to-distant future when we all wear uniforms and bad bowl hair cuts.

White shirts? Yes. Black trousers? Sure. Black skirt? Got it. LBD? Couldn't live without it. Classic trench? Give me a break.

This trench does not suit everyone and beige can positively be deathly to people of a certain coloring. Pale with dark hair - forget it. Pale with blond hair - not so great either.

And the trench might look divine of Kate, Christy, Agyness or Irina (by the way doncha love Irina?). For someone not like a tent pole there are no favors at all. Can we drop the charade of the classic trench? Please?